I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i've created a new STD.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
