OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
from now on my penis is your penis
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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