you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
