he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
