Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just threw up on my dentist
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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