i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
