id be glad to
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
