I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
