Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
