Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
