I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
