fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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