just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
