Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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