I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
