My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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