no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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