I want to stick my p in your. b.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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