I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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