Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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