So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
