thus making me awesome and them whores
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
