he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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