I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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