you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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