man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
