So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
