I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
