I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she looked like the before picture.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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