my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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