is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
