He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
