Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
