I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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