I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
