Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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