carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
