do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
