But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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