would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
