Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
