I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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