There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
