Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
