watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
