know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
3 2 1 whiskey
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
