a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
