So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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