Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
