This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
