that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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