apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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