Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
